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n There are some works, just asnthere are some people, which you suspect right from the outset. There is justnsomething about them. That certain je ne sais quoi which immediatelynputs you on the back foot. A badly-cut jib, if you will.
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nOne such piece is FredericknHollick MD’s 1850 tome which goes by the name,
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nThe Marriage Guide, OrnNatural History Of Generation; A Private Instructor For Married Persons AndnThose About To Marry Both Male And Female; In Every Thing Concerning ThenPhysiology And Relations Of The Sexual System And The Production Or PreventionnOf Offspring— Including All The New Discoveries, Never Before Given in the English Language.n
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| F Hollick – The Marriage Guide – 1850 |
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nIt’snjust too much information all in the same place at the same time. And maybe, that’s the thing. Hollick tries too hard,nhe doth protest too much, as it were. Now I don’t know too much about thensystem of nomenclature favoured in the Americas, but why put MD afternhis name rather than putting Dr before it? Perhaps it is a local thing,nrather like the propensity of our German cousins to call anyone who is capablenof joined-up writing Herr Doktor. Still. And then he goes on to add thatnhe is an “Author And Lecturer Upon The Physiology And Diseases Of ThenGenerative Organs.”
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| Detail from the title page above |
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nWell, I don’t doubt that you are, although simply bynthe act of mentioning it, I am now starting to ask why do you feel the need tonbring it up. Then, before we even get to the text, there is a little paragraphnon the reverse of the title page. I quote: –
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n‘N. B. — This Book is the onlynstrictly Scientific, popular, and practically useful one of the kind ever published.nThe price of it is One Dollar, and it may be obtained of the publisher or ofnbooksellers generally. —The publisher will also send it anywhere by post onnreceiving One Dollar and the address. All Dr. H.’s other books will also bensent by T. W. Strong, in the same way.’n
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| Hollick’s little paragraph |
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nDo you see what I mean? It simplynscreams ‘too much’. Why is scientific in capitals, and why is the authornreferred to as Dr H – there is plenty of space for his full name? ButnHollick hoicks up his sleeves and really goes to town in his Preface. Heninforms us why he is writing this ‘much needed’ work, ‘the first ofnits kind’ and rattles on about well qualified he is to write it. Over andnover again. And then, just for good measure, he tells us again, just in case,npresumably, we missed it the first few times. Then, after the table of contentsnand list of illustrations, what do we get?
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nAn advertisement for Hollick MD’snother publications, of course. And on the next page? Yet another advertisement.nThen, off we pop, right? Wrong. We come next to a ‘Notice’, wherein Hollickninforms us that, for a mere $5 he will answer specific questions written to himnand can also provide the goods and services he just happens to mention,nalthough he adds that,
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n “…many of these from requiring his personal supervision,nand occupying considerable time, are necessarily expensive.”n
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| Hollick’s Notice |
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nDo you seenwhere this is going? Good old Doctor Hollick is just a bloody quack, a humbug, anfraud. He actually gets down the real business in an ‘over view’ of thenreproduction functions. These are ‘Universal’;
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n“The manner in whichnReproduction is effected is the same in all kinds of beings, both animal andnvegetable,”n
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nthere are Male and Female functions and,
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n“These twonprinciples, in some form or other, universally exist, though under variousnconditions, and are always united.”n
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nGot that? Male and Female – universallynand always united. But then Hollick has a rethink – universally exceptnfor the hermaphrodites, actually, you know, snails and slugs and leeches andnthose sorts of things. OK, three functions, then. Male, Female andnHermaphrodites. And Males and Females are Universally and alwaysnunited. Apart from some fishes. Which don’t unite. They lay eggs which arenfertilised outside the body. So Male and Female and Hermaphrodites and some Fishes.nOh, and Marsupials, because they’re a bit different as well.
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| Dr Hollick’s Aphrodisiac Remedy (only $5) |
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nLet’s be honestnDoc, you haven’t really thought this through, have you? Anyway, we get thengeneral idea – so, what’s next. Another advert, naturally, because
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n‘ThisnBook is the only strictly Scientific, popular, and practically useful one ofnthe kind ever published.’n
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nSo get your Dr Hollick’s Aphrodisiac Remedy now.nAnd don’t forget (because you are reminded again, on the next page), that youncan write to Dr Hollick and get an answer for $5. The next chapter is devotednto a detailed description of the Female organs of reproduction, which is verynmedical and not at all titillating, and doesn’t mention Hottentot Venuses, ornwhat Negresses or Turks get up to. Or maybe, it does. But it’s medical, right.nSo don’t go getting the wrong idea. That’s why there are ninety pages of thisnstuff. And then Hollick turns to the Chaps, to whom he devotes, oh, twenty-fivenpages. But it’s medical. It’s just that there isn’t as much to describe, right.
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| Another advert from Hollick… |
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nAnd then we’re into pregnancy, childbirth, and a not-at-all alarming chapter onnExtra-Uterine Conception, and Unnatural or Monstrous Growths, where wenlearn that extreme violence committed at the moment of conception can causenbirth defects. Honest. Bet you didn’t consider that, did you? Well, a ‘celebratednPhysiologist’ once gave a pregnant female dog a violent blow on the head,nso that ‘she was paralysed for several days’, and guess what? When thenpups were born, they were deformed. Who’d have thunk it?
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| Writing Desk & Gold Pen presented by Grateful Ladies |
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nAnd as for monstrosities,nthese are the result of
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n“…fright, sudden joy, or the sight of anyndisagreeable object,”n
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nin the pregnant female, although men can also be thencause –
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n“I have known a man who hadnthree deformed children by one wife, and two by another, owing to imperfectnAnimalcules.”n
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nHowever, it’s when Hollick reaches Part Two – MiscellaneousnSubjects Interesting And Important To Married Persons – that he really getsnto work.
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| Hollick – Part II – Miscellaneous Subjects |
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nDid you know that the Male influences the ovaries of the Female so much during mating that
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n “… a female married a second time will have children resembling the first husband, and sometimes even in a third marriage,”?n
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nNo, nor did I. Ornthat,
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n“ … there is an innate sentiment in woman of modesty, or shame.”n
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nEvidently, Frederick hasn’t had a Saturday Night Out in any of our cityncentres. Or been to Essex.
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nHow about this,
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n“…if a man exhaust most of hisnnervous energy in thinking or in muscular energy, the other functions,nincluding the generative, must be proportionally weakened,”n
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nSo it’s onenthing or t’other, chaps, but not both.
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| Just another advert for the published works of Dr Hollick… |
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nWe should not, for one single moment, let downnour guard, for as Dr Hollick writes about beverages –
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n“Tea and Coffee – Bothnthese articles, but especially coffee, act as direct stimulants to thengenerative organs, and if taken in excess may produce all the effects of thenmost powerful drugs. I have known coffee cause priapism, lascivious dreams, andninvoluntary emissions, and nearly always its continued use will counteract anyntreatment that can be followed for relief.”n
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nThat explains a lot. So whatndoes the good Doctor recommend instead of a warming cuppa? A little somethingnthat
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n“ … causes great mental activity, disposes to cheerfulness, and inducesna feeling of warmth and comfort over the whole system Those who have taken itnin a proper manner, are delighted with its effects, and never complain of anynafter-depression or re-action in any way.”n
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nAnd just what is this marvellousnpanacea? Why, cannabis of course!
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| Male Generative Organs – only $1 |
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nFoods come under the microscope too. ‘Waterynvegetables’ – turnips, cabbage and squash – are
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n‘…proper when we wish tonkeep down excitement,’ and ‘rice is unstimulating, but sago, tapioca,nand arrow-root are the reverse.’n
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nPesky milk puddings. They have a lot tonanswer for. And fruit.
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n“Highly-flavored ones, such as peaches, andnpine-apples, … are undoubtedly aphrodisiac.”n
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nHollick has good things to saynabout roast beef, especially when it is well supplied with ozmazone, andnwell-prepared soups which smell of ozmazone are also recommended. I’ll writenmore about ozmazone on another day.
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| More Prizes from the Grateful Ladies |
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nHollick’s ‘mucky book’ went on tonbe published in an mind-boggling five hundred editions, he tourednAmerica with an anatomically ‘correct’ papiernmâché model of a woman that he would dissect before a paying audience andneventually fell foul of the city fathers of Philadelphia, who charged him withnobscenity. He claimed he was a doctor and was just doing his job. He was certainlyna man who loved his work.
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nI was going to say he threw himself into it, but that would be in poor taste, so I won’t bother.
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