Relationships between patients and therapists are mostly up to the patient.
Was Tony Soprano a good a match for Dr. Melfi? Leo Marvin, M.D., for Bob? Who wants to read Hannibal Lecter? It’s really not up to us to decide that (well, for the last one we can say definitively not). It truly is up to you, the patient, to choose whether you believe your therapist is the correct one for you when it comes to patient-therapist interactions. Here are eight indicators that the professional you’re seeing might not be the best choice for you if you’re unsure or on the fence.
- Your therapist doesn’t listen well.
Your initial session with your new therapist need to be focused on the problems that initially drew you in. Your therapist may not be paying attention if they are ignoring important things you wanted to discuss, checking their phone, or talking more than you do. In light of this, it might not be worthwhile to schedule another visit only to attempt to make your point about why you were there in the first place.
2. They downplay your experiences.
The first step in handling your emotions well is to validate them. It could be in your best interest to find a new therapist if your current one tries to downplay the issues that first drew you in, a practise known as gaslighting.
- You don’t like them very much as a person.
Even though it can seem unimportant, it’s crucial to select a therapist you get along with personally. The founder and CEO of Iris Telehealth Telepsychiatry, Tarik Shaheen, M.D., said: “Over time, you should create a solid and valued connection with them as you work toward achieving your mutual goal. You should get along with your therapist is the shorter, more direct response. The likelihood is that you won’t get the outcomes you desire if you don’t.
- You Are Uneasy Around Them.
In their office, a licenced therapist establishes a comfortable environment where nothing is off-limits. Ask yourself why you feel unsafe expressing your deepest emotions if you believe you can’t. Look elsewhere if the treatment expert gives you a horrible feeling. If you feel this way because you aren’t yet ready to address traumatic situations, that’s okay.
By keeping their own limits and refraining from oversharing their own experiences, therapists can build trust with their patients. Ineffective therapists make unwanted sexual advances (which might constitute harassment), divulge excessive personal information, and make you uncomfortable. Embrace your instincts.
5. They disparage your intelligence
Regardless of what drove you to therapy, you are more knowledgeable than most specialists about your difficulties and frustrations. Yes, thanks to years of training, your therapist has specific knowledge. However, they shouldn’t brag about it while you’re in class. If you tell someone that a certain herb improves your depression, and they dismiss this as nonsense, examine the following: Are they truly interested in your recovery, or are they too attached to their own course of therapy to investigate alternatives?
- They Don’t Push You to Advance
Should your treatment sessions last indefinitely or should they be limited to a certain number of sessions? Most patients and their care team anticipate a quick recovery, especially in light of the high cost of mental health treatment. You may need to find a therapist who pushes you more if, however, your sessions seem to drag on interminably with no noticeable change in your viewpoint.
Although many people with mental health difficulties recover and enjoy happy lives, some do require lifelong help. If you are no longer eligible for benefits, talk to your team about finding a new caregiver or decide for yourself if you are prepared to take care of yourself.
- They Act Immorally
Finally, there is a stringent code of ethics that all therapists must adhere to when it comes to issues like developing friendships or sexual connections with patients and preserving confidentiality. If you have no personal issues with your therapist, you could feel awful about leaving them, but keep in mind that your needs come first when it comes to safeguarding your mental health.
- Terminating Your Therapy
Telling a therapist that you won’t be coming back may be incredibly daunting or powerful. What counts is safeguarding your mental health, not whether you address issues or discreetly avoid them. If any of the seven aforementioned behaviours are displayed by your current counsellor, it could be time for an intervention and a new counsellor.
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