1983 religious movie
Bad Movie Rating: 4/5 (Ratboy: 3/5; Bryan: 1/5; Libby: 1.5/5; Johnny: 4/5; Josh: 4/5; Fred: 4/5; Kristen: fell asleep; Jeremy: no rating; Larry: unable to finish)
Rating: 5/20
Plot: After a guy named Lando’s daughter is whisked away by a cult and taken to an island, he enlists the help of Rando (I am not shitting you) to rescue her and kill the Prince of Magic and Satan. The devil is no match for all that denim, a magic staff, and elbow power.
Here’s this movie’s Satan:
Here’s the Prince of Magic:
And here’s our hero, Lando (not to be confused with Rando):
The Prince of Magic can make people spin around really fast and also shoots lasers out of his hands. Lando can shoot spiraling laser stuff out of his elbow and has a mustache. Satan has a pitchfork and an impressive special effects team behind him. And if you don’t think this all sounds awesome, you are probably dead inside. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a movie from the Philippines that has disappointed me. That’s probably what you’d expect from the country that brought us Weng Weng. This is wall-to-wall cheapo weirdness. There are naked women in cages; a great boulder-smashing scene; snake people; an epic staring contest; a creepy little mute kid who Bryan was convinced was going to end up being Satan, Shammalammadingdongily; and cheek tearing. It’s all strangely entertaining, almost otherworldly filmmaking. The guy who plays Lando is named Ramon Revilla, and isn’t really the prototypical action hero exactly. Except when he’s running around screaming, “Where are you, Satan? Come out and fight!”
If anybody wants to know what Bad Movie Club is all about, here’s a 2-minute clip that about sums it up. The aforementioned epic staring contest starts around the 35 second mark. You should watch this 6 times.
