Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

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nThe Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

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nDirector: Steve Binder, David Acomba

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nCast: Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, AnthonynDaniels, Peter Mayhew, Kenny Baker, James Earl Jones, Bea Aurthur, Art Cagney,nDiahann Carroll, Harvey Korman

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nThe Star Wars Holiday Special, which aired on American televisionnduring Christmas Season way back in 1978 is a page of Star Wars history that anlot of fans, including George Lucas himself, prefer you’d pass on and not evennlook at, which of course will make you want to watch this “forbidden fruit” even more. It’snhatred is evident by the fact that it’s never been released on VHS, DVD or Blueray.nHell, this thing didn’t even make to Betamax! There’s no love from GeorgenLucas for this thing. I decided to give it a proper chance once again, becausenI was going to conduct a screening of it for a Star Wars Parody Night thing I did. The screening consisted on the mother of all Star Wars parodies: Spaceballs (1986), followed by some funny Star War themed short films and finally the Star Wars Holiday Special (1978). Half way through the screening of the Star Wars Holiday Special, I was strangely hypnotized by it and so was the rest of the audience! I guess, when watched under the right mood, this thing isn’t as bad as everyonenpaints it to be. Plus there’s the nostalgia factor and the fact that its like a time capsule from the 1970’s. But it’s still bad, there’s no way around it. It’s an oddnbird.

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nThe story takes place as Han and Chewie are on their way tonKashyyyk (that’s Chewies home planet for you non Star Wars fans) but on the waynthere, they get attacked by a couple of imperial spaceships, which sets theirnjourney to Kashyyyk back a bit. So Chewie’s family is worried because he hasn’tnreturned. Chewie’s wife Malla is all sad and impatient so she decides to give good old Luke Skywalker a call. Luke tries to calm her down by telling her not to worry, that everything will be alright. To top things off Chewie is trying to make it backnhome before a Wookie holiday called ‘Life Day’, which is the Wookie equivalentnof Christmas. Will Chewie make it back to Kashyyyk for Life Day? Sure it’snweird seeing Chewbacca being a family man, with a kid, a wife and a grandpanwaiting for him back home. At the same time, within the context of a holidaynmovie, it complies with the requirement of being endearing and family oriented,nwhich means it has a lot of crying, singing and hugging.  Strange part is that all these tender momentsnclash with the weird ass what the hell moments, all of which I will go intonright now for your reading pleasure.
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nFirst up, we get introduced to Chewbacca’s family composed of Malla, Chewie’s wife, Chewie’s kid is a little Wookie kid who goes by the name of Lumpy. Lumpy likes to play with his wookie toys and eats his wookie moms cookies. Then wenhave Itchy, the grumpy Wookie grandpa. The whole idea is just hilarious to me. We getnabout a whole half hour of the three Wookies just talking in grunts the way Chewbaccandoes. Ever wanted to see Chewbacca’snwife watching a weird ass cooking show, so she can cook her holiday meal? Looknno further, it’s here! The thing about this holiday special is that it has anlot of comedians and acts that are no longer relevant today, so new watchersnwill be totally lost as to who Harvey Korman was and the fact that it’snsupposed to be a ‘funny’ moment in the show, but it’s cool because the funnyncatches you by surprise. I must admit the whole bit with the cooking ‘lady’ whonhas four arms got a couple of giggles from me, ultimately, it feels kind ofnpointless! What the hell does this have to do with Star Wars or anything? Absolutelynnothing! It’s just filler, something funny to put on the screen, like most ofnthe things you’ll see on this special.

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nThere are a lot of moments on this Holiday Special in whichncharacters sit down to look at something on a screen and then we get to watchnwhat they are watching, this happens all the time and its where thenentertaining side of this Holiday Special comes in. We have a moment in which Lumpy,nChewie’s kid, looks at holographic images of circus performers who look likensomething out of Cirque du Soleil. It looks cool and all, and the music isntrippy, but again, it goes on and on and then goes nowhere. Actually, thisnHoliday Special is made of a lot of trippy, sort of surreal moments strung upntogether. You might feel like you’re under the influence of mind alteringndrugs. I’m not the first to suggest that this whole special might have beennmade by a sentient bag of cocaine.
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nThere’s no trippier what the hell moment than the one innwhich Itchy, Chewie’s dad opens up his holiday gift and it’s this virtualnreality disk that contains a performance by 70’s singer/actress DiahannnCarroll. The holographic entity called ‘Mermeia Holographic Wow’ is sort of anholographic projection of all of grandpa Wookie’s sexual desires; I’m not makingnthis shit up! The hologram tells grandpa Itchy: “I am your fantasy. I am yournexperience. So experience me. I am your pleasure. Enjoy me. This is our moment togethernin time that we may turn this moment into an eternity. ” She then proceeds tonsing and dance a sexy song, which I must admit was alluring in a 70’ sort ofnway. Her performance is filled with all these old school television level visualneffects, hypnotizing in a way; certainly one of the best things about thisnHoliday Special. The problem is that immediately after watching this scene, younrealize this show is supposed to be for kids?!  It also makes you think of why would an agingnWookie have sexual fantasies with a human female and not a Wookie female! But whatever.nNo logic on this thing whatsoever.

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nThen Lumpy, the Wookie kid, starts watching cartoons and wenare treated to an animated segment that I didn’t understand very well becausenit’s not very well written, but it amazed me from an animation stand point. Itnincluded all the major Star Wars characters battling monsters in an aliennplanet called Panna. They were after some sort of magical talisman. Thisnanimated segment is valuable within the Star Wars cannon because it’s the firstnappearance of Bobba Fett in the Star Wars universe. That’s right my friends,nthe first time Bobba Fett popped up in Star Wars, was in animated form!nAnyways, the drawings were sort of like something out of a Moebius comic book,nat least in style. Which I dug a lot. I wonder how psyched little Lumpy must bento see his own father in a cartoon show?! After that we jump into a scene innwhich imperial guards enter Chewie’s house and start harassing the family,nlooking for rebels. One of the guards asks about an apparatus that on thentable. When they show him what it is, it’s basically a television, when theynturn it on, the Imperial Guard literally becomes hypnotized by a Jefferson Starship performance! Picture the leadnsingers microphone looking like a lightsaber with a bunch of purple, throbbingncircular lights emanating throughout the performance and you’ll get a gist ofnwhat to expect!

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nThen we have another comedic relief moment that takes placenin the Mos Eisley Cantina, with one of the Golden Girls (Bea Arthur) singing ansad song about the Empire closing down her bar. Who would’ve thought that one ofnthe Golden Girls is the owner of the Mos Eisley Cantina?! Anyhow, the wholenscene involves her trying to get rid of the last customers as they drink theirnlast drink. More padding, but I guess it shows the oppressive arm of thenEmpire, pressing down on the people. Also, we see a lot of the aliens we saw in Star Wars: A New Hope (1977) making a cameo, we gotta remember that this came out only a year after Star Wars was released, what they did for this scene was simply re-use the monsters leftover from the first movie. Then we get more funny stuff with Harvey Korman performingnas a robot instructor giving Lumpy instructions on how to build one of hisntoys? Totally pointless, but again, kind of trippy because the malfunctioningnrobot starts to talk really slow and then they make it look like hisnmalfunctioning by rewinding and fast forwarding the footage. It certainly makesnyou think “what the hell were they thinking?!” 

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nThen we go back to the whole story about Chewie returningnand we get the whole gang back together celebrating Earth Day with Chewie andnhis family and a bunch of Wookies all dressed in Red Gowns.  If that isn’t weird enough, then Princess Leianstarts singing a song to the Wookies. Just imagine the Star Wars theme song, butnwith lyrics about Life Day! Sang by Carrie Fisher. At the end of the day, this movie is all aboutnChewie, who ends up looking like the hero of the show, protecting his familynfrom Imperial Trooper by throwing them down the balcony of his home. Chewie isna hero of the rebels and a good husband and father! Wow, what an over achiever!n After that, it’s all party andnsurrealism as we are shown a series of montage of Chewies best moments fromnStar Wars: A New Hope (1977). Then Chewie and his family eat dinner togethernand then disappear into some sort of magical trippy star…or something. It looksnlike they are walking to heaven or something, walking into the light.  So yeah, that’s the whole thing. Lucas didn’tnhave much to do with this, obviously. He hates it. The special has never beennrebroadcast or released on any sort of media. But thank god for the internet,nnow you can watch it on YouTube and marvel at its awfulness. Or trippiness? Younbe the judge. Someone sitting next to me during the screening said that theynmade this Holiday Special for potheads. I’m thinking I agree entirely.

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nRating: 2 out of 5 

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