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Review: Brad Meltzer’s Decoded Disappoints

For a while now, I’ve dipped in to see what Brad Meltzer’s Decoded is all about. I must admit that I was unimpressed. Despite those dignified faces arranged like the Super Friends of History on the screen, I believe the entire programme to be biassed towards History Channel sensationalism. Too many of the few episodes have dealt with Masonic or Illuminati plots, which are about as credible as a drawn-out Pinocchio story.

I did, however, appreciate their discussion of D. B. Cooper, the infamous parachute money thief. I don’t think they uncovered that much new information, though. Although I haven’t really researched the case, I believe a lot of the things they claimed to have independently discovered as proof had already been addressed in writing. The team’s one original insight into the case was the removal of an attic floor board. Ground-breaking. However, the case for the man who they (and presumably other investigators) are holding responsible for the crime appears credible.

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During their End-of-Days: Apocalypse 2012 episode, I formally checked out. It was fantastic, silly, and recycled. I can recall exactly when I changed the station. The team goes to an astronomer who verifies that an uncommon blue star was just spotted after much discussion regarding Hopi prophecy about some blue stars showering down to destroy the planet.

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It’s only unusual because of how ancient it is, though. Not because it’s a blue star, which the astronomer expressly claims is typical. Despite this, Melzer continues to frequently interject that we now know these blue stars exist.

Okay, sure.

The astronomer simply stated that they were typical. Our knowledgeable astronomer further notes that this specific blue star was likely thrown free of the galaxy when it came upon a singularity within. It has now left the galaxy and is moving outside.

This pattern of restating dull facts to create dramatic flair persisted throughout the entirety of the episode. It didn’t help that one could easily make a compelling case for a new drinking game where everyone had to chug one every time the woman gasped, said, Oh, my Gods, or otherwise “clutched the pearls.”

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Overall, it’s a show with an intriguing notion that failed to live up to its laziness. Their investigations mostly rely on interviews with people who have already conducted the necessary study and have frequently written about it. They are effective in that regard. They reveal hidden information.

As an illustration, some people think that the Statue of Liberty resembles Lucifer rather than the Judeo-Christian Satan. She supposedly stands in for the goddess Venus and the “star,” often known as Lucifer. (Latin for “light bringer” or “illuminator” for those who want to make an Illuminati connection.) That misunderstanding deserves its own post. Here is a link to a Wikipedia article about Lucifer in its place. To see it that way, though, requires a fair amount of conspiracy theory inclination. Her identity as Libertas, the Roman goddess of freedom, makes more sense.

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Maybe I shouldn’t be so harsh in my judgement. Many excellent shows have bumpy beginnings, but if they don’t regain their footing fast… Who am I kidding, really? The History Channel, or as I like to refer to it, “The Reading Man’s Spike,” is this.

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